John wants America to stick our collective heads in the sand

Check out wat Lileks had to say about Kerry's Terrorism as a nuisance statement. Someone gimme "Hallelujah."

"

A nuisance?

I don’t want the definition of success of terrorism to be
“it isn’t on the rise.” I want the definition of success to be “free democratic
states in the Middle East and the cessation of support of those governments and
fascist states we haven’t gotten around to kicking in the ass yet.” I want the
definition of success to mean a free Lebanon and free Iran and a Saudi Arabia
that realizes there’s no point in funding the fundies. An Egypt that stops
pouring out the Jew-hatred as a form of political novacaine to keep the citizens
from turning their ire on their own government. I want the definition of success
to mean that Europe takes a stand against the Islamicist radicals in their midst
before the Wahabbi poison is the only acceptable strain on the continent.
Mosquito bites are a nuisance. Cable outages are a nuisance. Someone shooting up
a school in Montana or California or Maine on behalf of the brave martyrs of
Fallujah isn't a nuisance. It's war.

But that's not the key phrase. This
matters: We have to get back to the place we were.

But when we were
there we were blind. When we were there we losing. When we were there we died.
We have to get back to the place we were. We have to get back to 9/10? We have
to get back to the place we were. So we can go through it all again? We have to
get back to the place we were. And forget all we’ve learned and done? We have to
get back to the place we were. No. I don’t want to go back there. Planes into
towers. That changed the terms. I am remarkably disinterested in returning to a
place where such things are unimaginable. Where our nighmares are their
dreams.We have to get back to the place we were. No. We have to go the
place where they are. "

Back on the job!

(I do realize I'm talking to an empty room, by the way... But hey, you gotta start somewhere!)

Since I last actively participated in the Blogosphere, the world has changed; Afghanastan lurches ever closer towards joining the free world, and Iraq is slowly but surely moving towards free elections. Parts of the world are waking up to the horrors of Islamofascism, while other parts continue to bury their heads in the sand. Courageous nations stand against this cancer, some have surrendered outright.

What are we to do?

Stand up and fight these bastards, that's what. I cannot imagine what would have occurred in WWII, had we the same press corps and naysayers as we do today. "FDR lied, jews died!" "FDR is Hitler!" "No blood for jews!" Can we all pretend we're adults for a moment? Is there anyone out there who believes Saddam should be set free, and reinstated as Grand Executioner of Iraq? Anyone? Perhaps a good many people who think Iraq is a hopeless "quagmire," should remember this quote: "Those who think something is impossible, should get out of the way of those who are doing it."

I live in Minnesota, which hasn't voted for a Republican since Nixon. This year, my fellow bloggers, we go red. We'll vote for W, because he stacks up dead terrorists like cordwood. He takes the fight to the enemy, and will not rest even after Osama's head is displayed atop the Brooklyn Bridge. To our enemies in the sand: You made a serious error in judgement on September 11, 2001. America will re-elect the Cowboy come November 2nd, and the marines will drag you from your ratholes soon enough.

If you don't hate the French yet, read this:

Why isn't this the lead story in all the papers? Why does the Eifel Tower still stand?? FRANCE RECEIVED OIL-BRIBES FROM IRAQ

Here is the giant list of other countries who were bought off by Saddam, in an attempt to build opposition to the war. The list names specific names; we'll see in the near future, if our pal Mr. Cherac turns up on this list.

I'm sorry, but there is nothing funny about this post. Only murderous, anti-French, anti-Commie rage.

Kerry has great hair, Rowdy Dean blows a gasket

It's official: Iowans love a man with a $150.00 haircut, while Skeletor (a.k.a. Dick Gephardt) has been vanquished to Castle Greyskull. Howard Dean was rushed to a local hospital after he started bleeding from his ears; doctors state the condition is a direct result of his Hulk-a-mania style concession/crazy speech.






President Bush will address the nation tonite in his State of the Union speech. He is expected to deliver basically the same speech that Dean gave, with a few key changes:

"We've been to Iraq! We're gonna go to North Korea, Syria, and Libya!! We're gonna go to China, Cuba and Iran. And then we're gonna go bomb France!!! Yeeaaaarrrgghaaaahh!!!!!"

Big day for the Dems

Well folks, the day is finally here. The day when Iowans vote for the person who will take away the highest percentage of their income, generally ignore morality, and wave daffodils at international terrorists. That's right, it's Caucus Day!

And what a selection the Iowans have! 1)A lazy-eyed ski-bunny who supports wife-beaters and Saddam Hussein, 2) An anti-war, Hanoi Jane supporting war-hero, 3) An anti-war, war-General Clinton-puppet, and 4) John Edwards, a likable enough guy with terrible economic and social ideas.

If I were voting, I'd put an 'x' by my selection, but later claim I misvoted because the ballots are so confusing. I mean, as long as all the candidates are ridiculous, we might as well have a little controversy.

Filthy Lies

I'm normally pretty nice to people, but I've taken up arms agains Glenn Reynolds in the meatgrinder know as the Great Blog War. Thus, it is my duty to spread filthy lies about this traffic-hog, with the hopes of unseating him from his unclean throne.

Here's the scoop:

Two nights ago as I was taking the trash out, I heard a strange whimpering coming from behind my garage. I peeked my head around to investigate, and what I saw was nearly indescribable

But I shall try.

There stood Glenn Reynolds, dressed in a catholic school-girl outfit. His lips were smeared with a horrible, black liquid, and he was grinning a lunatic's grin. His left hand was clutched around the neck of my neighbor's weiner dog, Rocky; in his right he held a blender, filled with some steaming, despicable (and strangely hairy) liquid.

As I watched in horror, Glen poured the blender's contents down the throat of poor Rocky. The dog choked and coughed, but the evil bastard forced it down, every drop.

Cackling, he crammed Rocky right into the now-empty blender, plugged it into a nearby extension cord, and turned it on. "My God," I thought, "the blender cap isn't even on!" Glenn didn't care, it seemed.

A volcano-esque explosion of Rocky-chunks sprayed into the air. His killer danced about gleefully, turning his face up to catch the full spray of the shower. His plaid catholic jumper was drenched.

"DOUBLE STRENGTH SHAKE!!!" he cried madly, gnashing his teeth and pulling at his hair.

Something needs to be done about this demon-thing, parading about in human form. My God.

Is Saddam pro-black people?

A bunch of silly people are going to shout into bullhorns today, when President Bush pays respect to Martin Luther King. Apparently, the protesters think that Dr. King would have supported Saddam Hussein's nefarious rule.

I don't think that's the case, unless Saddam coupled his torturous ways with being super nice to black people.

"I have a dream, that one day rape and torture will be accepted by America, and that bushy-moustached dictators can committ abhorrent (abhorrent, I say) acts upon their fellow countrymen, as long as they like black people...."